…one thing I know I learned this summer is that I am completely capable of making decisions on my own because I am led by the Holy Spirit… not by every person who is around me. I can move forward with confidence! – Kailene Power
A dear friend posted that on her blog today and I actually giggled when I read it because it is exactly what I have been wanting to say to a few people this summer!
As I mentioned awhile back, I am planning a trip back to Rwanda this coming January to explore the opportunity of moving there after graduation. The organization I’m going with gave me a few tasks to complete in my journey to discern God’s will for this and one of those tasks was to have honest conversations with people around me about their perception of me going to the mission field.
Well, I did as they asked and was really caught off guard by some of the responses. The majority of the people I had talked to were encouraging, challenging, and supportive. Some of it was hard to swallow but was constructive nonetheless. I learned a lot about myself that will help me to be better prepared.
Two of the conversations, however, were downright destructive. They were with two people of whom I expected full support and instead what I got were attacks on me as a person and narratives telling me how inadequate I am for a commitment like this. It has taken many months of tears and prayer and conversations with other people to undo the damage that their words inflicted. I’ve learned a lot through their responses and I am even more affirmed that I am doing exactly what the Lord has asked me to do.
All that to say:
I have learned that “I am completely capable of making decisions on my own because I am led by the Holy Spirit”!
I have learned to believe in myself as the daughter of Christ that I am and it has given me an incredible freedom from the constant need to please the people in my life who don’t ever see me as good enough.